Sunday 25th December 2016

MR DALE’S CHRISTMAS MESSAGE

Serfs:

Christmas. A time for reflection and a focus of hope for the future. It remains a time when I try to put aside the anxieties of the moment and remember that I was born to bring peace and tolerance to a troubled world. Each year that passes seems to have its own character. Some leave us with a feeling of satisfaction, others are best forgotten. 2016 was a difficult year for many, in particular those facing the continuing effects of the economic downturn. I look back fondly on these past twelve months, marked in particular for me by the very generous response to my expenses claims. I especially value the opportunities I have had to meet young ladies. I am impressed by their energy and vitality. At this time of year, few sights evoke more feelings of cheer and goodwill than an expenses cheque and pictures of the latest Ms Dale and ME in the papers.

I put a tree up this time of year, just like you serfs do. The custom of topping a tree goes back to Prince Albert’s time. For his family’s tree, he chose an angel, helping to remind us that the focus of the Christmas story is on one particular family. My tree is topped with an image of ME, to remind you that I am top of the tree round here and that my modern family needs extra expenses.

Like everyone else, I learn about what is going on in the world from the media, and I try to publicise myself as much as possible so you can see ME. I am fortunate to have another source of information. Every day hundreds of letters come to my desk, and I make a point of reading as many of them as I possibly can if they have cheques in. They are a pleasure to read. There are also sad ones from irritating serfs who want help. There are silly ones from people who want to tell me what they think about current issues, or who have suggestions to make about changing the way things are done. Others are full of frank advice for me and my family and some of them do not hesitate to be critical. As a conscientious person, I recycle each and every one of them.

Christians are taught to love their neighbours, having compassion and concern, and being ready to undertake charity and voluntary work to ease the burden of deprivation and disadvantage. We may ourselves be confronted by a bewildering array of difficulties and challenges, but you must never cease to work for a better future for ME.

I wish ME a very happy Christmas.

Thursday 15th December 2016

My all seeing, all hearing wallet hears of an interesting expenses bonanza in my fiefdom. Manna from heaven for a number of my less important chums. A festive jackpot indeed. Fine work that is to be congratulated – congratulations to ME for I am the king of expenses and my minions have learnt well. They may buy me a drink. One hears Six Dinners Sid feasted exceptionally well as a result. Double puddings all round!!

Wednesday 14th December 2016

At this time of year I’m most generous, it is expected of someone like ME. Although I should receive, I have compiled a list of presents I shall be bestowing on staff and serfs.Unfortunately my self help books ( or more appropriately help yourself books ) are not ready for this Christmas, my man has not written them yet.

My list of presents:
For the Big Man, a set of six dinner plates. That should make dinner times easier.
I think, for Ginge, a very large piggy bank. One with no way of getting money out! It will provide us with much entertainment watching him try to extract the money.
For the three of us, more expenses!
For my man, a set of quills (or the modern equivalent) so he can get on with writing my books.
I have bought my ex a book, with only one or two pictures already coloured in.
My ladies will get pictures of ME. Each with a few words and also smell of ME. (Don’t ask).

Now what for the serfs? I will allow them to buy me a drink. An honour for them. Make it a large one!

 

Monday 12th December 2016

I see the Purple Gang have a new Lord and Master. A splendid chap, takes his views from ME. He could almost be preparing the serfs to acclaim me as a future leader - they need one every other fortnight! I am sending him a text (no, not one of my 'special ' texts!) giving him advice and guidance. Just reminding him that you can easily fool the serfs and get their adulation by doing whatever you want to by blaming others that look a little different, but I think they know that already. 


He needs to get a Trumpton hairpiece. I am thinking of instructing all my staff to wear the Trumpton wig. It would amuse me to see Ginge and the Big Man (six dinners Sid) in these wigs. I know what they will be getting for Christmas. 

Now for MY Christmas list.

Thursday 8th December 2016

The serfs have a function each year for best man in the fiefdom. Of course, it always goes to ME but I decline it, letting a serf win it instead. There is a banquet with food and wine laid on, so ME, the Big Man and Ginge turn up to have a free nosebag, erm, support the event. Due to the way he tucked in. the Big Man is now known as “Six Dinners Sid” after the much-loved children’s character. Not as much-loved as ME of course, but who is!

I have had a few thoughts about the worship of the mighty one at this time of year, the adulation and gifts. To ME. It is the Christmas season, all should be festive and generous; giving and receiving – giving to ME and receiving by ME. It is time to submit my list to Santa. I know what I would really like in a Christmas stocking (fishnet preferably), someones leg! A nice stocking filler indeed.

I see this fine fellow, Ronald Trumpton has been doing well. So he should as his attributes mirror mine. He must have studied me to copy my actions so precisely. It is a pity he is not a female, just think of how wonderful our offspring would be!