Monday 16th May 2016

One of the ex’s has been having a spat with one of the neighbours it seems. I do like a bitch-fight! One of my earners reckons I got involved. Not me. Oh no. Someone reckons I’d had a shandy and threatened to get MY SPY on the job to teach the neighbour a lesson. I don’t remember such a thing therefore it never happened. I could easily solve any problem with the ladies by just being ME and charming them to my chamber. I’m such a  Casanova!

 

Some of the serfs have been abusing my good name and not worshipping ME as they should. If we were in that fine fiefdom of North Korea, my kindred spirit, Mr Kim, would have them dealt with. He even sorts out the relatives, so beware my exes and enemies!!

“Glorious leader gives best bed in prosperous and great country to you, your highness Mr Dale, and paramour”

These rebellious serfs use the ‘new technology’ of which I am not good at using, having being let down by it in the past, my mobile nearly sharing it’s fate with the Titanic! It’s not fair that people are nasty to me, that is my job!

Not long ago I visited friends abroad, well not quite friends, more people who are useful for me. Well that is my definition of a friend. They could be very helpful with my new business enterprise making the coloured flowers, rosettes I believe they are called. In their fiefdom they do not need to bother with rules and can pay next to nothing to their serfs. When will we get that sensible approach over here? Too much is paid to serfs, even when they do not serve me as much as they should.

Wednesday 11th May 2016

As a man of the world I like to keep abreast of events all over the planet, there might be business opportunities for ME. Over the pond I see someone with a fine head of hair looking to be the main man. His policies only seem to be outdone by his hairstyle. I wonder where it can be purchased, I think I would look even more splendid with a blonde head of hair!

I’m sure the media would pay well for such a picture; now they even pay for pictures of me with the ex and attending meetings with the law.

The policies he comes out with are admirable; a big wall to keep poor and homeless serfs out. But you would have to let in some to be servants; if they weren’t meant to be there you could pay very little as they would have to keep quiet! Excellent.

Ginge has now finished his comings and goings so we can return to business (and businesses) as usual. Now who was it that looking to do some buildings? How may I help?

Tuesday 10th May 2016

It seems my ex has designs on someone who is in a similar, but obviously lesser, position as myself. Bit of a spat and it’s been suggested I administer discipline. Yes please. A good spanking, just like the old days. She could do with the wages – it’d get her off my case. Vote ex I say.

Still no word on my promotion so I have been ‘talking’, not plotting of course, to another fellow, man to man as it were. We are both looking to ‘progress’. He also takes money for slagging off our boss, as I do. He does need to be careful though not to encroach on my money making opportunities. MY SPY will be watching…

Have approached Thai International Tobacco to promote their interests. Should be good holiday in it for me. Just need a drinks company to sponsor me. Watch this space! My ex can keep an eye on the big man and Ginge, that’s why I pay her; she’s not much use for anything else, especially anything that requires any joined up writing!

Talking of things international, I’ve spotted an excellent career opportunity that is perfect for ME! Glory. adulation, absolute control, no moaning minnies or wannabees, big man and ginge to the firing squad if required and no questions asked expenses. Ah, what a life, a life just right for ME. Now to find an all expenses paid first class trip to North Korea to take command as its glorious leader!

Monday 9th May 2016

My night with the wanabees, part two

At gatherings I used to listen to people talking and picked up information on their indiscretions. My fame is now such a widespread and magnificent thing that people now listen to ME, hanging on my every word. That is why I have a serf to be my ears. He moves amongst the crowds, quietly, stealthily, like an unacknowledged smell released by some scoundrel who has eaten too much! He will issue a full report back to me this week, but MY SPY has already let me know what the scandalmongers were gossiping about. The new paramour and my ex’s were popular topics amongst the wanabees. MY SPY is all seeing and all knowing and in my command.

 

My nose for funds has given me an idea. At these gatherings, various coloured flowers are worn by many of those present. Not ME of course, on this occasion. At the next gathering my serfs will have a stall outside selling these ‘flowers’. All colours; blue, red, yellow, green and even purple. I might also add hats, scarves and undergarments. My ‘friend’ from over the hill was secretly wearing her real colours underneath her recent disguise!

No top hat of course, there is only one who can wear one of those! ME.

Friday 6th May 2016

My night with the wanabees, part one

It’s that time of the year when the lower orders scrap round for bits of elected power, and a few measly expenses. Nothing in comparison with my authority and wealth at all, but I let them have their fun. They gather and decide who has won what. I decided to honour them with my presence (and also let them know who is the main man round here). As you know I’ve been consorting with the enemy recently so I got the latest of my harem into camouflage (red instead of blue), summoned my man, and off we went.

On entering the hall, the reception should’ve been marvellous. I imagined, in my mind – A fanfare of trumpets, followed by the music from “Chariots Of Fire”. Adulation, applause and worship.

These serfs really ought to get their act together and do these things when graced by ME! My paramour caused people to look, which meant they were looking at ME as well. Job done.

The big man and ginge were there, of course, just their sort of function. They seemed quite happy with things, ginge in particular had the menacing grin of an evil despot as he saw his bit of power returned.

Or had he got some sort of deal in place? I’ll find out.

There were a handful of The Purple Gang there. Losers but they look like a motley crew. Had a pint with their gaffer once. I might  use them some day so I’ll keep my eyes on them.

To be continued…

Wednesday 4th May 2016

At last my man has earned his pennies. I have my thoughts quoted in one of those rags which pay me for my views! At last! Same old rubbish, no need to engage my, or rather my man’s, brain. Giving stick to people washed up on our shores. Nice and easy to write and popular with those who run the various rags which keep the serfs from using their meagre imaginations. Mind you, no one but ME should be doing any thinking.
My man, the big man and Ginge have all cautioned me about being seen as anti- septic apparently with the views I express ( should not be a problem as they do the writing). My staff, after all, only have two jobs; to do my writing for me – and to do everything else.

Now as for charlatans like the big man and ginge, well, the stories I hear aren’t acceptable. They are in my pocket of course but as I campaign to expand my next fiefdom, the big man is apparently looking at wanting to step in MY shoes. FAT chance of that happening!!

Looks like one of the ex’s is realising what she is missing with me. MY money. The alternate needs of a modern family man such as I are less than satisfied as I write. Will play that by ear, or another anatomical part.

Gathering forces of doom

My managers seem to be getting stick. That set of middle class clever boys well deserved it! I will join in when it suits. Plenty of opportunities for financial gain by sticking my oar in. Talking of sticking my oar in, my friend from over the hill has been keeping her distance. Might give her a poke – on social media – but my man has pointed out previous assumed infractions in that field. ME? Oh Buggeryflip !!! Not more misunderstood texts!!

 

Tuesday 3rd May 2016

My man is looking into business opportunities for my good self. Cannot understand why serfs would not be happy just to do my bidding, but it seems I have to give them payment – they should be happy with what scraps I deem appropriate. Even the authorities impose taxes. Time for them to be abolished. A while ago I got paid for lending my presence to an organisation seeking to abolish these authorities. Money for nothing – or very little.

A media job would be ideal, repeating words my man writes, getting paid just for being ME. Quite right, very right in fact. It cannot be long before the media come to me, again, for my views.

My ex seems to owe money to these very authorities. I am expecting a demand for cash, even though I have ’employed’ her. What does she spend it on? I have needs to be met and require funds. ME. You can never have enough!

Monday 2nd May 2016

My spies and informants are everywhere. I am the man of knowledge and power around here. I, ME. I know what’s going on. And here it is.

In my fiefdom, there is an old fashioned tradition. A couple of local wannabees get tarted up for a year and call themselves mare and mare-ess or something. My spies tell me that there was a game of somethingball on at “Sportland” last weekend, a place I’ve told you of before. Some of the serfs like that sort of thing. My spy saw a posh car roll up the the main entrance of Sportland, and who should get out but the mare and mare-ess characters. “They only live a cock-stride away from Sportland Sire, what do they need a bloody lift for, Your Eminence?” My spy has a point. Why should my serfs pay out to have impotent charlatans ferried around to what was probably a gratis afternoon of merriment? What a disgrace, what a waste of money. Everyone knows it should be ME who gets free rides and all expenses paid functions, not free-loaders like the mare. I’m the daddy (many times over!) round here.