Wednesday 27th April 2016

In my run it was appropriate for the ex to run after me, although if I’d dropped a fiver she would undoubtedly have sped past me! I did try to get the big man, Ginge, my man, my ‘special’ assistant and other serfs to run in a line behind me dressed as Buckingham Palace lackeys. They all made pathetic excuses and declined. They will suffer for their lack of respect and adulation, if they are not totally doing my will then they will be dealt with. A good spanking may be in order, but that’s enough about me. (Well not really, there can never be enough about ME!)

In spite of goading my managers to hasten my promotion, nothing seems to be happening. I might need to get my man to look into their secrets. If he can’t find anything he can always make it up. He’s good at that, useful skill for writing books of my good self.

Well must get on with my good works, so the big man tells me. I’m off to the pub!

ME, working hard for the benefit of all.

Monday 25th April 2016

Ran a charity race this weekend. I won, naturally. True there were one two people in front of me but they, of course, did not count.

Still not heard from my employers about my promotion yet. You can’t get the management you deserve!

There have been rumblings, according to the big man and ginge, about my perfectly reasonable financial dealings. The cheek of it, whatever I do is never wrong or improper. I define what is right and acceptable. ME. It seems some petty minded people have realised that the amount of my recent expenses incurred have been recouped by my gift of employment to one of my ex’s. No one can really expect me to accept being out of pocket! It would not be right and according to the proper order of things. My impecunious circumstances of the past have to be balanced by my current situation, it’s only fair!

My media activities are continuing but frustratingly not yielding a cash return as yet. When my promotion comes through I expect opportunities for wealth and worship to arise a aplenty.

When will I be top dog? When my promotion comes through I will initiate my plan to get rid of the present chief; I don’t know how he is that position. No one of any importance likes him. He even finds it difficult to maximise his expenses earnings! Loser.

I’ve been getting into the swing of things, flags at HQ, St George’s day and Her Maj’s birthday. My silent majority of serfs love that sort of thing. As well as loving ME of course. Got me thinking. It’s about time I found myself a young princess. I am destined to be royalty. Get my feet under the table, a few Machiavellian manoeuvres and who knows, the nation could be blessed with King Me. Lots of adulation, a decent gaff plus expenses, first class travel, free food all in, servants, finery. I’d be perfect for that role. King Me The First. Oh yes!!

Thursday 21st April 2016

One of my ex’s, a Ms Dale if you will, has been (hasbeen!) asking for money, seems her legs need waxing or some such thing. However I have found a way round that problem without paying anything out of my depleted funds. I have re-employed her on a part time basis to service my needs and my fortunate employers are paying. It costs me nothing out of my wallet but it is still MY money of course. This will make my work even more wonderful. How my people will celebrate!! Here is a picture of your most favourite hard workers arriving at the office today.

Being part time, if “they” check and she’s not there, it’s because it’s the day when she’s not working. Might even be a time when she’s in the office, not for work of course. You never know she might be grateful and show it accordingly! Who wouldn’t be grateful for ME ? My other staff have been making my mistakes so I have had to admonish and chastise them. I like a bit of admonishment and chastisement. As you can see, Ms Dale is working very hard taking self… err, doing important work and earning every penny of my money.

I am still annoyed at my festive ex selling her story to the papers. I ask you, who would consider doing such a tawdry, self-promoting thing? Not a decent moralistic man such as I, and, it must be said, not a penny sent my way! Reminds me, I still have the filly over the hill. I’d like to get into bed with ‘the enemy’ , although it does not feel wrong at all, and I shouldn’t get a spanking for it. Or should I, if I’m lucky. It should be remembered by my serfs that whatever I say or do is automatically right.

Must get on to sorting out my other staff, my man seems to be getting a little lazy and careless and needs to get on with my autobiography; all he has done lately is to write to the press under one of his many names!

Wednesday 20th April 2016

I have been keeping quiet, as the big man and ginge suggested and just doing my day job, for too long! No extra income coming in from other real earners. No more!!

Enough! (or rather not enough). Why should I, ME, my magnificence, be going without? I have a cunning plan, well, it was suggested by my man and he needs to do something good for me, or else, seeing as his reading skills aren’t up to much. I will be proactive (whatever that means) and go on the offensive – something I am used to doing. Yes, be offensive!

My people, the managers in my organisation, the authorities that be, the media; are all wrong in not bowing to my will and not understanding that whatever I say is the truth, even if it’s not. That is my, and their, destiny. But if I say it is the truth then it is the truth (and nothing but the truth). A phrase that my man says I should be aware of for future reference. To this end, my end, I have been undergoing media training. Although I obviously know more than these professional trainers. I am being groomed (even though I know a bit about that too) to handle myself better!

In telling the media my ‘constructs’, I think it means whatever I want to tell them, my groomers suggested I remove my tie. I suggested going further and removing my trousers and being interviewed by a young lady who also removes her lower garments. She can then focus on my magnificence and get on with letting me say whatever I wish to.
Now to get on with my plan! Trousers off so I can think clearly!

I think my next career move is to be a TV star. I’m fantastic on television, and my silent majority love me. I am an advertisers dream.

Friday April 1st 2016

It’s about time my wondrous legacy was properly marked. The fantastic things I have done for my fiefdom and the love my people have for ME must have the recognition it deserves. I hear a public campaign to achieve this has been started. Erecting a statue of me is a splendid idea, and my man has obtained an artists impression (in actual size) of what such a glorious monument could look like.

There may be planning issues but ginge will get that sorted. He knows about these things. What a gathering the unveiling would attract.

There are many other ideas my adoring populace have suggested. A tribute album and concert are but two of them. My man could organise a Crowd Funding campaign, titled Churls Adore Super Hero (all monies payable to C A S H). The potential for me is endless and should fulfil much of my valuable time. All ideas are welcome.