Thursday 28th July 2016

Of course theME park project is all about ME, but not even I can run such a project alone. One needs reliable people at all levels of serf to keep things ticking over. My famous success as a business magnate tells me so. I will have control and mastery of all my serfs of course, especially the upper strata or “management” level if you will. I can shop them at any time should the need arise but will allow them the chance to trouser a coin or two to keep them sweet by doing what they know best The ex can sort out the catering and have a profit share on that. Ginge can bank a few quid on land deals etc. And the big man? He can pocket the takings from lying on his back all day and being the bouncy castle.

My “management” team.

And now for the ordinary serfs, taking in my money, operating rides, cleaners etc etc. Should be cheap; apart from work experience, there are zero hours contracts and my contacts from abroad. Some could even pay for the privilege of serving ME. No need for Bolshy unions with such a fine master. I’ve got some uniforms for them off a charity.

My theME park needs a main attraction to get the punters in; The Big One. Obviously it should make everyone think of ME.What could it be? Inflatable ME‘s as you enter the park? Why not a helter-skelter which is a gigantic statue of ME. People could enter the mouth at the top and come out at the bottom. My man thinks this very appropriate! Of course, all rides will have First Class and Standard sections, with tickets that can be used as expenses receipts for corporate customers. Same goes for the on site car parking.

Wednesday 27th July 2016

Been thinking about the rides (something I often do) on theME park project. Yes I can do thinking by myself sometimes. Apart from making money from the facilities, there are other opportunities.

A Punch and Judy stall is one of my favourites. ME and the ex would fit in nicely as entertainers.

What about a Gravy (sorry, Ghost) Train, obviously costing more than all the other attractions. And some dodgyem rides too. However the jewel in the crown would be the Tunnel of Love. Mine would be a little different. In an act of positive discrimination. young ladies, not couples, would pay the entry fee and find ME waiting for them! It’s a winner.

Negotiations are taking place for a hotel on site – U KIP will be a good name for it I think. I know just the chaps to run it as well…a few mates

Monday 25th July 2016

One of my serfs has come up with a potentially mega earning opportunity. Much needed as my other business enterprises seem to come and go like the tide, the last one going out further than the tide in Morecambe. Ran the idea passed Ginge who could hardly contain himself over the possibilities for us all, which normally means him, but NOT this time pal! The profits are for my needs.

The idea is for a ME based theme/amusement park with all the associated services. I have identified a fine location, a local defunct chemical factory. Yes, we are ready for the birth of theME park! I thought of calling it MEland but the big man said we (that should be me) could make more bucks by calling it Daleland or even D’aleland. However, I have decided it will be known as theME park.

The big man and Ginge will set up a new company, nothing to do with me of course, not even based locally, to develop the project. The big man has run some tests and everything is safe and sound in the area. Amusement rides, a hotel, spa (with a massage, rest and recuperation ‘facility’) – could find a position for my ex and her mate to keep them off my back and a few houses for Ginge!

Need advice on the rides as my knowledge of rides is limited and possibly not appropriate (except for the ‘spa’). Oh, and of course, numerous bars! The ideas are flooding in and I will share some of them with you this week. Money in the bank at last!

Wednesday 20th July 2016

The management seem to be falling out with each other. Gives me chance to get away with all sorts of things. They appear to be ignoring my little problems. Not problems for ME of course, just for them. This I like.

Same old problems for me, not enough pounds coming in for my ‘hobbies’, too much going to ex’s needs. The media are not coming knocking at my door, I need something to attract them. Nasty people threatening me, maybe my man will lob a brick through the office window, or ‘horrible’ comments on social media. I’m sure my man will be happy to oblige!

As a significant part of my income is from expenses, quite right too as I should not have to pay anything out of my own pocket, I have got my man looking at fresh claims. If I claim for the services of others no payment actually needs to be made, depending of course who is providing the service. A man like ME needs to be in the best of health, physical and emotional to provide wise counsel, mop up tears etc etc. I need a counsellor to look after my emotional needs, who can that be? A young lady perhaps, someone I can come to agreement on regarding payment?

Product placement could be another option. I could wear designer clothes supplied free in return for me displaying them, maybe swimwear, nice and snug! I could ensure the media takes pictures as well (and charge them also). Now what other products and services could I endorse? Urm, now let me think. Now where is my man to get on with this? All this thought is making me thirsty, now endorsing drinks, that’s a interesting thought.